A long awaited catch up.

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Wowsers. Its been months... since I last posted. And yes I feel terrible for neglecting my little blog right in its beginnings, but sometimes life happens. And happen it did. I have still been around, lurking silently following my favourite blogs, and shamelessly wishing I had it all together like many of them seem to!
I found the last couple of months of the this past semester at uni to be a whole lot more stressful then I had expected, which lead to a full body breakdown. I think my head just decided it had all it could take and turned me into an absolute mess. Several trips to the GP later, a week off work on doctors recommendations and a continual amount of cramming followed by the conclusion of exams and final assignments, summer break, a broken heart and the begining of a new year and with it a new semester of uni brings me here. 
Remember that little incentive my lovely mum had going? the unknown suprise, in my stage of being unwell she caved and gave me the suprise a little early.. a pandora braclet and a little snake charm, the deal is I get a charm every five kilos here after.... what a lovely thing to do and just more motivation for getting where I want to be health wise.
She also has a ten kilo gift wrapped up waiting for me to hit the mark.(its sitting in my lounge haunting me) To be completley honest I have  spent the last few months shoving absolutely everything I can in my mouth. Ridiculous. I know I have stacked on weight. I can feel it. . .. .
The doctor I visited was a reliever for my regular GP and seemed to shed a light on alot of my issues both physically and psychologically. The long list of ailments he 'discovered' including: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dyslexia, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, Vitamin D deficiency, overactive thyroid, and pre diabetic  insulin production.
Needless to say I was overwhelmed by such an extensive list and have taken the time away from everything to get my head around it all.
The biggest thing that hit home the most was being pre diabetic, my body is producing insulin at twice the normal amount to maintain my sugar levels. If I don't loose weight and cut the crap out I will have diabetes within the next 5 or so years. The doctor mentioned medication that could also help but suggested due to my age I should be able to control this with a low GI diet and by loosing the weight. I am terrified of having such a chronic illness, and the fact that I can prevent is such a blessing, one I will definitely not be taking for granted.
WTF.... soooooo low GI vegan, and mostly gluten free diet? BAHAHA I seriously laughed at him. And then high tailed it to the library to learn as much I could about the Glycemic Index and what exactly it meant for my diet. :(
So I'm back to my little blog and I am here to stay, except more whining and blah blah and more of me try to get my s*** together. I was trying to keep this blog on a theme of weightloss, health and fitness, but really thats not me. There is so much more to me and this blog is for me. Its my therapy, so sure expect more random vegan food ramblilngs and number crunching but expect to be suprised my pretties.

JUST DO IT a little update

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So remember how I was holding things together? Just. Well it did not last. Things crumbled. I got more sick and more anxious and ended up with a trip to the GP.I left with magic happy pills, which will hopefully make me magically happy.

I am feeling very worried about things, mostly uni, as it comes down to about 6 weeks to go and its crunch time, I have bucket loads of work to, and I need to just knuckle down and get into it. Of course I am not (queen procrastinator here) and this is causing me to get all iffy. 

 Amazing news this week I have lost a lovely 1.4 kg since we last spoke, which is awesome and makes me super excited. Bringing the total loss to 6.7kg. I wish I could tell you exactly how I did it, but honestly I dont know? I took healthy lunches to work for the past two weeks and I have been drinking alot of water. But I feel a bit naughty because I didnt track and I didnt exercise. (maybe I worried the weight off?)

Either way I am taking it as a win. 

Today is my day off work and I have two classes to go to. Neither of which I have any idea of whats going on... one I missed the precursor to last week and I know I am going to be screwed without all the data/work from the week before. And the other I am not even sure if its on. I have a feeling it might be an info session on this big presentation we have to give in the coming up weeks and therefore I really should go to it, however I kinda want to skip it and go have lunch with a mate.( This is most likely why I get stressed out skipping things then worrying about what I missed.)

Wish me luck

xoxo 

Jess

Ewww moment

Something that totally suprised me yesterday.

 I would see this and assume vegan....wouldnt you?

But wait.......

The vitamin D3 is derived from lanolin.

Eww its just weird oh yeah yum just chugging away on my soymilk and secretions from sheep.

Think about it.

xoxo

 Jess

JUST DO IT

Things around the Les V3GAN house have been a little tense of late. The last couple of days I have had a massive feeling of things crumbling, and I am simply just trying to keep my head above the water and not drown. For as long as I can remember I have been a worrier I worry about absolutely everything and those who have the pleasure (or horror) of knowing me will whole heatedly agree. I am a perfectionist which is an asset and a hindrance. I want everything to be perfect, of course nothing ever is, I am too lazy to become OCD about it so instead I worry. I worry about what other people think or will think, but more importantly I worry about what I think. I mean obviously I should be able to keep to a schedule in regards to my life, I write lists millions of them and if things don't go according to plan I freak.

This week things have not gone to plan. I missed a day of tracking.. didn't record one thing. In my head I calculated my points values though and it was all ok, but the fact I didn't actually record bothers me (alot). I also went to the gym only once (a whole lot less then I promised myself). I got sick and missed a really important class on Wednesday morning, which makes me feel like the world is ending ( I know, I know I was sick I have a reason, Logically I get it). And I have done no where near enough study. I have an assignment draft due on Wednesday and I have spent most of the weekend avoiding doing it, and while avoiding it I worried about not getting it done, when if I had spent the time I spent worrying about it doing it, it would have been completed.  ( say that three times really quickly)

So I probably sound a little nuts now. ( full disclosure remember). I suffer from anxiety. I am not in denial. I have panic attacks. I AM ALOT BETTER then I have been, but things have been crumbling this week.

So this tonight I have cut myself some slack. Yes things seems bad. Yes I am worried. But you know what, I've held it together so far and don't intend to let it all fall apart, I just have to acknowledge that little voice, push it aside and get some shit done. So I am going to live the mantra of a lovely woman, who I have been seeing for four years my counsellor, JUST DO IT JESS ( In the past I have written it in lipstick on mirrors and post its on walls just to get through to myself).

I'll update you soon on how the DOING Is going.

xoxo 

Jess

Its gonna be a bright sunshiney day!

So I attended my Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday, or as I love to affectionally call it my fatties meeting. The good news is I lost 1.1 kg since the last time I weighed in a fortnight ago. Bringing me to a total of 5. something kilos. Now before you all go around jumping with joy and telling me how fab I am I have been going for 6 months. SIX WHOLE MONTHS... and I was kinda hoping for better result. That said I feel much more accountable for what I am doing at the moment and am hoping to see some dramatic improvements. My mum, ever so lovely has given me the incentive of a 'suprise' when I reach 10 kilos which you would think would motivate me more... but has really just left me wondering if the incentive would work better if I acually new what it was. So I am going to give myself some incentive, when I reach the 10 kilo mark I am giving myself permission to go out and buy an entire outfit, head to toe. I have a couple of things in mind but I am not committing to something I just want that knowledge over the next few weeks that I have something to look forward to.

 The last couple of days in Les V3GAN world have been positive, every single item I have eaten has been recorded in my food tracker and although I have not always been in my point range I am overall okay for the week. See propoints has introduced this new weekly allowance of an extra 49 points which allows for people to have mishaps, you know the extra glass of wine, a whole block of chocolate etc. Much more realistic way of loosing weight.

I guess the biggest news here is that yesterday I went to the gym for a run. YES, you heard correctly a run, I got off my lazy backside and toddled off. Now it wasnt exactly  running considering I walked for half of it but I am hoping I will be running 5k soon! I have decided to complete the Couch25k (c25k) program, and OMG I found this lovely little Iphone app (for free of course) that you put on when your starting your 'run' and it tells you when to run or walk, you can also set music from your phone to play in the background. Seriously this would have to be my favourite app at the moment by far. I can't imagine trying to complete the program without it, trying to time all the intervals. This morning has resulted in me waking up sore and achey, but in a suprisingly good happy mood. I think today is going to be a bright sunshiney day! And I can't wait for my next run (scheduled for tomorrow).

xoxo

Jess

Ewww moment

So sometimes when I am just looking at vegan books or sites something just my jaw drop and have an ewwww moment. You know? I was looking at the Vegan products you can buy in Aust facebook page and discovered that this 

 contains this

Ok so it probably doesn't contain Nemo, but it does contain fish derivatives. Which is just gross. ewww .

So many times when I find out weird unmentioned things about what we eat, I wonder if people really know or care what they are putting in their bodies. I think ewww moments will become a regular appearance on here as I want to share what I learn and hopefully find out if people actually care or are suprised like I was?

xoxo

Jess

Monday... in 100 words or less (assignment due this week havent started...)

More cramps. 1 bobble of H20. 44 points (holy cow) . Red bull (study aid of course). Double dessert (to help with the cramps obviously!). More vegan pancakes, I couldn't let the mix go to waste. I actually consumed vegies and protein (Soyco Tofu Japanese) and grains (couscous).
REFLECTION: Its nine less points then yesterday. YAY!!! And I did make some good choices today.... also tomorrow I will be at an advantage there are no pancakes left. Plus I am working all day, less binging time. I know I am not going to magically wake up and be eating a perfectly balanced and diet but any improvement is a good one in my book and I am going to embrace it. Day 10 of cruelty free dieting, and I am loving it.
Apologies for being so abrupt but I can not use this beautiful blog as an excuse to procrastinate or I will resent it. xx