Tuesday 25 October 2011

JUST DO IT a little update


So remember how I was holding things together? Just. Well it did not last. Things crumbled. I got more sick and more anxious and ended up with a trip to the GP.I left with magic happy pills, which will hopefully make me magically happy.
I am feeling very worried about things, mostly uni, as it comes down to about 6 weeks to go and its crunch time, I have bucket loads of work to, and I need to just knuckle down and get into it. Of course I am not (queen procrastinator here) and this is causing me to get all iffy. 
 Amazing news this week I have lost a lovely 1.4 kg since we last spoke, which is awesome and makes me super excited. Bringing the total loss to 6.7kg. I wish I could tell you exactly how I did it, but honestly I dont know? I took healthy lunches to work for the past two weeks and I have been drinking alot of water. But I feel a bit naughty because I didnt track and I didnt exercise. (maybe I worried the weight off?)
Either way I am taking it as a win. 
Today is my day off work and I have two classes to go to. Neither of which I have any idea of whats going on... one I missed the precursor to last week and I know I am going to be screwed without all the data/work from the week before. And the other I am not even sure if its on. I have a feeling it might be an info session on this big presentation we have to give in the coming up weeks and therefore I really should go to it, however I kinda want to skip it and go have lunch with a mate.( This is most likely why I get stressed out skipping things then worrying about what I missed.)
Wish me luck
xoxo 
Jess

Sunday 16 October 2011

Ewww moment

Something that totally suprised me yesterday.
 I would see this and assume vegan....wouldnt you?
But wait.......

The vitamin D3 is derived from lanolin.
Eww its just weird oh yeah yum just chugging away on my soymilk and secretions from sheep.
Think about it.
xoxo
 Jess


























JUST DO IT


Things around the Les V3GAN house have been a little tense of late. The last couple of days I have had a massive feeling of things crumbling, and I am simply just trying to keep my head above the water and not drown. For as long as I can remember I have been a worrier I worry about absolutely everything and those who have the pleasure (or horror) of knowing me will whole heatedly agree. I am a perfectionist which is an asset and a hindrance. I want everything to be perfect, of course nothing ever is, I am too lazy to become OCD about it so instead I worry. I worry about what other people think or will think, but more importantly I worry about what I think. I mean obviously I should be able to keep to a schedule in regards to my life, I write lists millions of them and if things don't go according to plan I freak.
This week things have not gone to plan. I missed a day of tracking.. didn't record one thing. In my head I calculated my points values though and it was all ok, but the fact I didn't actually record bothers me (alot). I also went to the gym only once (a whole lot less then I promised myself). I got sick and missed a really important class on Wednesday morning, which makes me feel like the world is ending ( I know, I know I was sick I have a reason, Logically I get it). And I have done no where near enough study. I have an assignment draft due on Wednesday and I have spent most of the weekend avoiding doing it, and while avoiding it I worried about not getting it done, when if I had spent the time I spent worrying about it doing it, it would have been completed.  ( say that three times really quickly)
So I probably sound a little nuts now. ( full disclosure remember). I suffer from anxiety. I am not in denial. I have panic attacks. I AM ALOT BETTER then I have been, but things have been crumbling this week.
So this tonight I have cut myself some slack. Yes things seems bad. Yes I am worried. But you know what, I've held it together so far and don't intend to let it all fall apart, I just have to acknowledge that little voice, push it aside and get some shit done. So I am going to live the mantra of a lovely woman, who I have been seeing for four years my counsellor, JUST DO IT JESS ( In the past I have written it in lipstick on mirrors and post its on walls just to get through to myself).
I'll update you soon on how the DOING Is going.
xoxo 
Jess

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Its gonna be a bright sunshiney day!

So I attended my Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday, or as I love to affectionally call it my fatties meeting. The good news is I lost 1.1 kg since the last time I weighed in a fortnight ago. Bringing me to a total of 5. something kilos. Now before you all go around jumping with joy and telling me how fab I am I have been going for 6 months. SIX WHOLE MONTHS... and I was kinda hoping for better result. That said I feel much more accountable for what I am doing at the moment and am hoping to see some dramatic improvements. My mum, ever so lovely has given me the incentive of a 'suprise' when I reach 10 kilos which you would think would motivate me more... but has really just left me wondering if the incentive would work better if I acually new what it was. So I am going to give myself some incentive, when I reach the 10 kilo mark I am giving myself permission to go out and buy an entire outfit, head to toe. I have a couple of things in mind but I am not committing to something I just want that knowledge over the next few weeks that I have something to look forward to.
 The last couple of days in Les V3GAN world have been positive, every single item I have eaten has been recorded in my food tracker and although I have not always been in my point range I am overall okay for the week. See propoints has introduced this new weekly allowance of an extra 49 points which allows for people to have mishaps, you know the extra glass of wine, a whole block of chocolate etc. Much more realistic way of loosing weight.
I guess the biggest news here is that yesterday I went to the gym for a run. YES, you heard correctly a run, I got off my lazy backside and toddled off. Now it wasnt exactly  running considering I walked for half of it but I am hoping I will be running 5k soon! I have decided to complete the Couch25k (c25k) program, and OMG I found this lovely little Iphone app (for free of course) that you put on when your starting your 'run' and it tells you when to run or walk, you can also set music from your phone to play in the background. Seriously this would have to be my favourite app at the moment by far. I can't imagine trying to complete the program without it, trying to time all the intervals. This morning has resulted in me waking up sore and achey, but in a suprisingly good happy mood. I think today is going to be a bright sunshiney day! And I can't wait for my next run (scheduled for tomorrow).

xoxo
Jess

Ewww moment

So sometimes when I am just looking at vegan books or sites something just my jaw drop and have an ewwww moment. You know? I was looking at the Vegan products you can buy in Aust facebook page and discovered that this 
 contains this
Ok so it probably doesn't contain Nemo, but it does contain fish derivatives. Which is just gross. ewww .
So many times when I find out weird unmentioned things about what we eat, I wonder if people really know or care what they are putting in their bodies. I think ewww moments will become a regular appearance on here as I want to share what I learn and hopefully find out if people actually care or are suprised like I was?
xoxo
Jess

Monday 10 October 2011

Monday... in 100 words or less (assignment due this week havent started...)

More cramps. 1 bobble of H20. 44 points (holy cow) . Red bull (study aid of course). Double dessert (to help with the cramps obviously!). More vegan pancakes, I couldn't let the mix go to waste. I actually consumed vegies and protein (Soyco Tofu Japanese) and grains (couscous).
REFLECTION: Its nine less points then yesterday. YAY!!! And I did make some good choices today.... also tomorrow I will be at an advantage there are no pancakes left. Plus I am working all day, less binging time. I know I am not going to magically wake up and be eating a perfectly balanced and diet but any improvement is a good one in my book and I am going to embrace it. Day 10 of cruelty free dieting, and I am loving it.
Apologies for being so abrupt but I can not use this beautiful blog as an excuse to procrastinate or I will resent it. xx

Sunday 9 October 2011

The day that was..(that is what was eaten)

Lets just say it was not a good start.
I consumed 53 propoints my allowance is 30.
I drank a third of a bobble of water. Aiming for 2.
I consumed no fresh fruit or vegies... unless you count the few blueberries sprinkled in my vegan pancakes lovingly made by Sonj and doused in maple syrup by me (whoooops).
Lunch was a bowl of Doritos....really need I say more?
I had/have cramps. Its that awful time of the month I loathe and naturally I turned to my sugary/salty favourites. Coke (Zero luckily) and chocolate (vegan amazingly) also made an appearance.
And dinner? (A tonne of) Deep fried potato.
Yes I have kind of cheated I haven't listed everything but does anyone besides me really want to read everything I ate? Apparently my Weight Watchers leader does, which leads me to think maybe I should not go back or not show her what I have eaten this past week...(I mean is it any wonder I am not losing weight at the moment, I am eating like fatty)
The positives of today, I ploughed through some of the lovely Alicia Silverstones The Kind Life and I learnt alot (no doubt I will be discussing this in more depth soon).....
did you know sugar is like crack. And I can say with a hundred percent confidence that I am addicted. This will have to be dealt with at some point but for now, I am focusing on small changes. This week its recording everything(trying to get below the magic 30 propoints) and sticking to the vegan diet (aka resisting the urge to eat everything I see).
Tomorrows a new day though (fingers crossed).

Starting stats

         So here it is... the big low down. I have been avoiding putting them up all day.
 
WEIGHT: (EEEEEkkkkkk) 86kg  ... The one number that bothers me. I get a little obsessive with numbers and considering its 23 higher then what I had gotten to previously, its making me a little anxious. I really am looking forward to watching this one dwindle down.
 
      The rest of the measurements mean little to me( that is they don't cause me to have a panic attack every time I look at them). Although after a quick google it turns out I am definitely in a high risk category for a billion diseases, with diabetes running in the family, both mum and her mum have type 2, I certainly don't want to sit back and wait for it to come my way too. 
The measurements are included for a healthy dose of reality...even the best healthy little monsters have weeks where the scales don't show any loss, and I am hoping that by keeping a tally on the measurements I might be able to reassure my crazy all or nothing brain that all is ok.
 
WAIST: 91cm
HIPS: 108cm
ARM: 34.5cm
THIGH: 74cm
BRA SIZE: 12f
DRESS SIZE: 14

Right so there it is.. me in all my glory (gory).

Its out there. On the internet for all to see (argghhhh runs hides under bed). I am learning so much already, just seeing those numbers is motivating me. Bring on skinnnnnier, fitter, healthier, more confident...... and most importantly happy me.
 

Saturday 8 October 2011

To be happy!



      I have been wanting to start a blog forever, (aka the last six months) and I have also been wanting to return to my vegan/healthy ways forever (aka since I gave them up somewhere between meeting Sonj and moving in with her). I had an ahhaaaaaaa moment, WHY NOT COMBINE THE TWO??!! Naturally this brainwave came in the middle of a stressful week at uni, and meant that I could not think of a single thing except creating a pretty blog and being fabulous at getting healthy and blogging about it. I refused to let myself actually start until after I got my assignment in, here I am..Ok so I confess the assignment was five days late and really not my best work (possibly because my brain was busily imagining a blog of awesomeness) but hey its in, whats done is done, and I promise I'll make up for it by actually doing proper standard assignments from now on.

       Now I have some pretty high standards of myself, I know myself and how off track I can get when wanting to actually do something. I am making myself commit to recording everything I eat... (Weight Watchers would refer to that as tracking).. and everyday I'll post a little summary...the boring details of what I am eating, hopefully making me a little more accountable. I am also going to record publicly (shudder) my weight and measurements.... to track the improvements. Just quietly this does make me freak out a little but I am all for full disclosure.

       Look out tomorrow for the starting stats...